America has a boo-boo, needs bandage.

Is FOX News’ Dick Morris an idiot? You betcha!

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When you think of stupidity, these days it’s hard not to fall upon the conservative hotspot, FOX News. When thinking of idiots who happen to work for FOX News, you would typically think of Bill O’Reilly or Sean Hannity, two massive tools who are somehow consistently able to out-douche themselves.

But not enough is said of Dick Morris, a “pundit” for FOX News. Recently, concerning remarks made by the head of the Republican Party in Virginia (read: irrelevant moron) comparing Barack Obama to Osama bin Laden, Morris somehow managed to defend him. Then again, he was going up against another idiot, “liberal” (read: politically-moderate pussy that FOX News labels a liberal to seem balanced) Alan Colmes:

COLMES: And then after tamping it down, today the RNC comes out with another ad comparing Obama to Ayers. And you have the Republican chair in Virginia who sends out his troops, Jeff Frederick, giving instructions to 30 door-to-door canvassers saying, both have friends who bombed the Pentagon?

MORRIS: What’s the matter with comparing.

COLMES: Is this healthy?

MORRIS: Yes, what’s the matter — it is. What’s the matter with comparing Obama to the guy who introduced him in politics, gave him his first job, and has been a fixture in his campaign.

What? How is it rational to compare Obama to William Ayers (much less Osama bin Laden)? First off, what logic does Morris use to determine that Ayers “introduced [Obama] in politics”? Ayers was never a politician; for God’s sake, HE BOMBED POLITICIANS!!! Also, I didn’t know that William Ayers ever lived in Hawaii, where Obama got his first job working at an ice cream shop. Of course, they did serve strawberry, a known weapon of mass deliciousness. And how has Ayers been “a fixture in his campaign”? The only involvement Ayers has had with the Obama presidential campaign is indirect; to be specific, his involvement is limited to being a name tossed around by the geniuses in charge of McCain’s campaign who somehow think the American people are retarded. (Then again, we did elect Bush…)

If Dick Morris is really this stupid, then how does he find his way to the FOX News building every morning? I think he must sleep there, with Doocy, Hannity, and all those other idiots. You might wonder what they would be doing together at FOX News at night. I, for one, don’t want to know, but I’m sure it doesn’t involve intellectual activity.


John McCain: A man lost between two ideals

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John McCain is lost. No, not losing it, although I suppose an argument could be made for that as well. He is losing this election, and by a fairly large margin. The McCain/Palin campaign – the smear ads, the character attacks, all of it – has finally turned ugly. Crowd members at McCain rallies have been caught on tape saying some questionable things about Obama: “Traitor”, “treason”, “terrorist”, and “kill him” are the main phrases being used. I know; it’s hard to wrap your mind around some white trash idiot even knowing what the word “treason” means, but pretend for just a moment that it makes sense.

Do these idiots represent McCain? Yes and no. They certainly don’t represent Senator McCain. Senator McCain, while having notable occurances of rage, corruption, and perhaps even borderline racism, was a good man. He had strong beliefs and he held onto those beliefs, but he also worked across party lines to come up with the right vision for America. Senator McCain truly earned the title of “maverick”.

Presidential candidate McCain, however, is not so honorable. I don’t know what has happened to him, but McCain has turned into a neocon puppet. Even his running mate, the always-oblivious Miss Alaska, has been referred to as “Bush in a dress”. McCain seems so concerned with winning this election that he is willing to abandon everything he once stood for. For those of you who are convinced that it’s all an act and that President McCain would be more like Senator McCain, don’t be so sure. If McCain gets in the White House and starts showing his true colors – a decent guy who is fair to both sides – the people who voted for him (neocons) will revolt against him. It would be even worse than Obama winning; at least they know Obama stands against all of their policies. Either McCain has duped them into submission (it’s not like they’re a particularly bright crowd to begin with), or he’s really changed his views on literally everything.

McCain might have caught onto the fact that this hatred from his supporters has gone too far. Earlier this week, when a McCain supporter (read “moron”) shouted out something about Obama being an “A-rab” (not true, but also not even the original claim of conservatives; Arab and Muslim are not interchangeable), McCain had this to say:

“[Obama’s] a decent family man, citizen, that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues.”

A very nice thing for McCain to say, although it did somewhat imply that Arabs are not “decent”. I seriously doubt that was his intention though. The point is, his effort will be futile. His statement was greeted with boos. He continues to run the attack ads that have fueled this ignorant rage, and thus the problem will not simply go away because McCain asks it to do so.

It’s just another conflict between Senator McCain and GOP candidate McCain.

The verdict is in: America isn’t dumb, Johnny

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It turns out that there is more hope for America than I thought. After a week full of errors and general stupidity from John McCain, voters have begun to realize that he really is Bush 2.0. The latest Gallup poll shows a 4-point lead for Barack Obama, the first statistically significant lead he has held since the convention.

The beginning of McCain’s troubles came last week, when the media realized exactly how dishonest his attack ads had become. Then late Sunday night, the news of Lehman Brothers’ collapse sent Wall Street into a frenzy, shown by the rapid collapse of stocks on both Monday and Wednesday, which were followed by reasonable bounces back toward the normal value on Tuesday and today, respectively. On Monday, McCain said “the fundamentals of our economy are strong.” By Tuesday, he had changed his mind. He seems to be forgetful now, too, as he often answers questions with completely obscure facts. When asked about Sarah Palin’s national security experience, McCain felt it necessary to point out that she had been a star point guard in high school. What’s even more sad is the fact that the audience actually cheered him on for making that statement.

I can only assume they were saying, “WOO, this guy’s an idiot, but at least our possible-50%-chance-to-be-president Sarah Palin can nail her free throws!”

Written by Ken

September 18, 2008 at 9:33 pm

McCain has no safe ground left

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John McCain has officially run out of safe havens. Following yesterday’s brutal smackdown between McCain lackey Tucker Bounds and FOX News reporter Megyn Kelly, John McCain appeared on “Morning Joe”, an MSNBC morning show hosted by conservative commentator Joe Scarbrough. McCain got pissy at several points in the interview, even going so far as accusing Joe’s co-host of being in the tank for Obama. The co-host, by the way, has a brother who works for John McCain’s campaign, and even worked for George W. Bush for six years. Conservative columnists in newspapers across the country have taken a shocking turn against McCain, although to be fair they all seem quite varied in their reasonings; the most notable today came from the New York Times in which the author went on a long anti-Palin rant, but certainly did not endorse Obama.

Even the comedy front is becoming an issue for McCain. Jon Stewart, who frequently invited McCain on his show over the years, has really outdone himself for this election season. He followed up his destruction of McCain’s acceptance speech as being literally “more of the same”, by showing hilarious clips of Sarah Palin and George Bush uniting in their claim that America “must not blink”. While Stewart has never been afraid to make his opinions known, even going so far as begging Americans to “make [his] job harder” the day before the 2004 election, it is surprising to see him go after his friend so brutally… or at least it would be surprising if his friend didn’t deserve it. Tough lovin’ from Mr. Liebowitz.

The simple fact remains: John McCain is running out of places to spew his BS. Americans are beginning to realize that he is running a campaign that could make even Karl Rove blush (and has; according to Rove, McCain’s ads have gone too far). Jon Stewart’s annihilation of McCain’s speech, and SNL’s amazing skit showing how Palin has made a joke of everything Hillary did for women in America, have made a surprising impact as well. In today’s Gallup poll, McCain’s once-solid lead has slipped to a single percentage point, thus a virtual tie when you consider the average margin of error.

Somewhere on the campaign trail, Barack Obama is smiling.

FOX News finally acts fair and balanced; McCain surrogate baffled

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Yes, you just saw FOX News’ Megyn Kelly standing up to McCain surrogate and chronic idiot Tucker Bounds on his inability to stay on subject, and his useless attacks on Obama. I never thought I’d see the day when a FOX News reporter stood against McCain attacking Obama (O’Reilly’s half-assed remarks of a week ago fell on deaf ears [literally, considering his audience]), but it seems that even America’s least fair-and-balanced news network has decided that McCain is a terrible candidate.

It had been reported that Rupert Murdoch, owner of News Corp which presides over FOX News, recently took a liking to Barack Obama. However, his comments were outweighed by the director of FOX News programming, conservative Roger Ailes, who said FOX News would not be “in the tank for [Obama] like CNN and MSNBC.” Roger Ailes, if you hadn’t guessed from that quote, is not a very smart man, especially since he made that comment to Obama’s face.

But apparently FOX News, or at least Megyn Kelly, is trying to turn over a new leaf by actually challenging both sides for once. We’ll see how long that lasts, but in the meantime, I’m enjoying it.

The Palin Phenomenon: From corrupt governor to GOP superstar

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Sarah Palin has gone on the type of journey that is only possible in America. She came out of nowhere; a little-known politician from a relatively insignificant state. As governor of Alaska, she participated in many questionable acts. She took funding from Congress for a project that was going nowhere, she abused the same earmarks that John McCain claims to fight against, and she has the same kind of shady past that McCain supporters have claimed that Barack Obama has.

So how exactly did she become a GOP superstar? The simple fact behind the choice of Palin was that John McCain needed a woman. It didn’t matter to him who it was (many more qualified women in the GOP), he just had to have a woman. Now he is allowed to use sexism and the gender card as a firewall against any attacks. This came at a perfect time for McCain, as people were beginning to accept the fact that being a former prisoner of war doesn’t mean he can never be questioned. Now, McCain can use anything Obama or Biden say against Palin, or even himself, and twist it into sexism. This poses an instant problem for Obama, who is good with words but cannot possibly tell what can be twisted one way or another, and for Biden, who doesn’t exactly have a reputation for saying what people want to hear.

By picking Palin, McCain also dug into two key demographics: young people, and women. Young Republicans who may have felt alienated when their party passed on Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee for a 70+ year old with a documented history of health issues, are now being excited by the McCain/Palin ticket. Also, women now view McCain more favorably than before, even though any intelligent women would know that he was attempting to pander to them with the pick of Palin. A true feminist would never vote McCain, but unfortunately women voters haven’t come as far as we thought they had.

While the pick of Palin should not have worked and on Election Day likely will not work, for now it’s certainly interesting, and sad, to watch.

Written by Ken

September 15, 2008 at 8:04 pm

US economy collapsing in front of our eyes

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Yesterday, the large investment firm Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy, the largest failure of an investment firm in 18 years. Meanwhile, Merrill Lynch has been bought off by Bank of America. AIG, a large insurance company, needs $20 billion in government lending, which today NY Governor David Paterson said he will allow. To bring all of this into perspective, Dow Jones was down 355 points and NASDAQ was down 56 at the time this article was written.

What can be made of all of this? Well, simply the fact that we’re beyond a recession now. This has officially gotten serious, with a major investment bank failing and an insurance company struggling to stay even.

This news has already made an impact on the campaign trail. Barack Obama has blamed the failed policy of George Bush, and linked John McCain to those policies, whereas McCain says the fundamentals of our economy are strong. Unfortunately, fundamentals won’t get us out of this mess.